I love Facebook. I really, truly do. It's the easiest way for me to admire this putrid river of stupidity humanity has become without the risk of being infected. It's an absurd circus of idiocy that provides us with front row seats. You want to troll these troglodytes? Tell them Facebook's going to charge them. The ignoramuses react as though our alien overlords have targeted them for extermination. Better yet, tell them changes are being set in motion that will take 15 seconds to learn. The response? "HOLY SHIT! LET'S BOYCOTT FACEBOOK UNTIL THEY CHANGE IT BACK!"
My favorite little Facebook trend is these half-literate twits who "hack" other people's accounts. Now, I use the term HACK in the loosest manner possible. Ninety-eight percent of these morons barely have a functioning brain, let alone a basic understanding of the English language. I highly doubt any of them are even aware that hacking something such as a website requires a lot more than your dumbass buddy leaving himself logged in. To me, saying you hacked someone's account means you took the time to learn the inner workings of the internet and bypassed everything that keeps the casual internet jackass out. But anyway...
We've all stumbled across someone's open account. Hell, on account of myself, my mother still enjoys midget porn and my aunt (God rest her soul...) had an image of two camels fucking as her profile picture. HILARIOUS! That's quality profile tampering there. Every other example of profile alteration? Not so much.
I can't count how many times I've logged in to see "HACKED BY *insert stupid college girl's name here*! <3 U GURL!" or "I like penis"splattered across my news feed. It's this kind of stirring originality that makes me wish I could legally throw my feces at people. It's like people keep this ever-so-intriguing crap copied, just waiting for a chance to paste that shit into the status update box. If these are the brilliant minds of the future, I think we can all agree we can expect a future copied and pasted from Wikipedia.
So for all you "hackers" out there: IF YOU'RE GONNA FUCK WITH SOMEONE'S STUFF, USE WHAT LITTLE BIT OF BRAIN YOU POSSESS THAT HASN'T BEEN DESTROYED BY CHEAP BOOZES AND CHEAPER DRUGS AND DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL!
This has been the Voice of Reason, and remember: spay and neuter your neighbors.
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